Monday, April 7, 2014

Chick-fil-A Sauce

Someone recently shared a post from a blog called "Confessions of a Chick-fil-A Employee." I guess the post was from a while back... anyways, it seemed that there was a lot that this employee had left out (especially from a kitchen worker's perspective). So if you've ever wondered what is going in the heads of those wonderful people making your chicken sandwich, read on.

Things you may (or may not) hear a Chick-fil-A employee say:
  1. "No, we don't serve whole chickens. Guessing you've never been here before."
  2. "You're welcome! Crap - I meant 'My pleasure!' I'M SO SORRY!"
  3. "Can I get you a refill? Crap - I meant 'refresh!' Can I get you a refresh?! THIS ISN'T CIRCUS BURGER!"
  4. "Do you think that fried pickles would be good?" "You're the supervisor, you tell me."
  5. "I get that it's Lent. But seriously, people come to Chick-fil-A for fish sandwiches?! Long John Silvers is not that far away..."
  6. "No, we don't serve burgers. You really haven't been here before, have you?"
  7. "Hmmm, just found a 3lb. chicken breast in the cooler... definitely can't serve that to our guests. But I do believe it is time for my lunch break - hey Wes, can you make 6 strips of bacon? I'm about to go order a sandwich..."
  8. "Just saw an order on the screen for a sandwich with 'no condoms.' Let's all hope that 'condoms' is front counter code for 'condiments.'"
  9. "Alright guys, it's 9:45, let's start closing down the machines, we can put away the - HEY LOOK A BUS JUST PULLED IN. It's a great day at Chick-fil-A..."
  10. "Just saw an order on the screen for a grilled cheese sandwich cut into five pieces with only very green lettuce and a half-slice of tomato on CSS bread and a fruit cup with all the green apples taken out and a side of 18 pickles. I love when team members order meals from the secret menu."
  11. "Hey guys, it's time to thorough-clean the friers." "Oh, hey, what a coincidence, it's time for my lunch break."
  12. "Pretty sure that whatever calories I burned standing up for the last 12 hours I just earned back with one sip of my employee-discounted milkshake."
  13. "I bet my co-workers would think it was hilarious if I went through the drive thru and ordered a large nugget tray at 9:59."
  14. "Do you think that we could make cheesesticks in the frier?" "You're the supervisor, you tell me."
  15. "Just saw an order on the screen for a sandwich and fries '3X WELL DONE.' Anyone have some charcoal for this guy?"
  16. "Just heard that another kid threw up in the play area. I guess working back here in the kitchen isn't so bad after all."
  17. "Derrick Rose just came through our drive thru? I know I was in the back washing dishes, but I basically just met someone famous!"
  18. "I just won 'Best Dishwasher' at our employee Christmas party! To all the haters who said I would never amount to anything, IN YOUR FACE!"
  19. "Just saw an order on the screen for a spicy chicken sandwich cut in half - hey, Nick's here guys!"
  20. "Alright everyone, [name of employee] is going on break; say your goodbyes, he probably won't clock back in before your grandchildren are old enough to work here!"
  21. "Hey honey, since it's my day off, let's go out to eat! Where do you want to go? Oh, Chick-fil-A..."
  22. "Man, I miss [name withheld]. It was always so much fun working with them." "I know, right? Remember when we made fried pickles? I wonder why they don't work here anymore..."
  23. "You know, if Truett Cathy decided to pay us all in CFA sauce, I'd be okay with that."
  24. "We don't actually make the sandwiches at Chick-fil-A. We just have a dedicated team of prayer-warriors kneeling before an open skylight, and the sandwiches float down out of heaven like manna."
  25. "Okay. So the cows are funny and everything. But if we can imagine a world in which cows could read and write, why couldn't we stretch our imaginations just a bit further and imagine a world in which they also have proper grammar and correct spelling?"
Photo cred: "Christian Memes"

This post is dedicated to CFA team members everywhere! What were your favorites? Do you have any of your own to add? Let me know in the comments!

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